Camblog #13

Maybe we have to be more like firefighters, running into the fire rather than away. Life is inevitably filled with seasons of sacrifice and seasons of calm. Really what we need is a sense of ‘groundedness’ as we run into the burning house, the ability to stay calm and efficient as the rafters fall down and people are screaming. How do we cultivate this?

“Maybe instead of slamming the door on pain, I need to throw open the door wide and say, Come in. Sit down with me. And don’t leave until you have taught me what I need to know.”

Glennon Doyle Menton

As a sensitive individual who takes on the emotions of other people (very) easily, I have quite profound emotional reactions to the world and people around me. In my head I become very overwhelmed with a maelstrom of self criticism and doubt. But really it is all in my head. The need for perspective taking is so important, not everything we think is of positive value to our lives. Balancing a sense of objective and emotional reasoning is key.

This makes sense from the perspective of a good clinician- you’d rather have a calm and collected one rather than someone who is jittery and always doubting their ability. In this sense university, though teaching you scientific skills which will aid you in your professional career, also gets you ready for the world. Living by yourself, forming and solidifying your own identity and values. These are things that need to happen within, and no external individual can complete for you. Struggle is the essence of living (not suffering- and we must keep that in check).

People change. We must be gracious to ourselves and them. People can be so alien and different- but share alot of similarities, and we must make space in our mental frameworks to allow for these human foibles. Its this constant flux that plagues us all, yet is so necessary and desired in our lives. If we were always living through the same moments, we wouldn’t feel like we are living. Yet it is in moments of tumult that we want to be saved. Saved from what- from learning and developing? Sabr- a spiritually aware kind of stoicism I like to think of it as- is key. Yet we must exert this patience with a level of grace, and flowing calmness. Build an aura of peace within oneself which emanates to the people surrounding you.

In my previous posts I’ve mentioned how I felt as if I was moving towards something. I think it is towards a sense of solidity of self. I speak with intention and purpose, have a soft spot for the goofy, and love love love talking about cool things. We should use our words and impacts well, surface level interaction and small talk aren’t things I see myself in. I’m not weird, abnormal ect. I am me. I speak and live purposefully and with reverence. Of course we need validation from people whose opinion we value. Finding that your experiance is shared with people who are not *you*, feeling seen and had space held for allow you to grow. These are things that matter, so much around us doesn’t and is superficial. The pursuit for the deep, and meaningful perhaps that is what life is for me.

And so it begins

The base is an amalgamation of everything

Rules are not to be played by rebels

The story of never ending

Your introversion led you here

Intuition protected you along the way

Feelings allowed you to be well balanced

And perspective gave you foresight

The top of the mountain is nothing without the climb

Only the strong will survive

Only the strong will survive#

Alone, but not lonely

Your truth unveils with time

As you embark on a journey

Of what it takes to be a woman

Introvert by Little Simz

If you cant tell by now I am obsessed with Introvert and so hyped for Little Simz’s new drop- once again speaking to my soul. It’s actually mad how you can feel connected to Art and how things turn up at the right time as a form of sustenance, small and deeply meaningful miracles.

4 thoughts on “Camblog #13

  1. Very gorgeously-written, and said like a true true INFJ. You are you — and you are a “small and deeply meaningful miracle” and isn’t that amazing

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The biggest contributor to confidence for me has been the challenges of going to uni during COVID and living/learning independently. In the end, I will probs end up ascribing more value to this in terms of how it helped me be a cool, collected clinician than the learning of facts and figures for the tripos 😂

    Liked by 1 person

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